Achieve my goal weight.

My original goal was to lose 100lbs. Then, to weigh what I did in high school. After that? Half my body weight. I now need a new goal, I guess?

In 2018, I had weight loss surgery. It was a culmination of a lot of things… I’d been overweight all my life, but a life threatening infection, a year of bedrest, and years of steroids had taken their toll. I’d gone from a steady 240-260lbs to 384lbs. I have Ulcerative Colitis, a digestive disease which means I literally can’t eat badly without getting sick, so it wasn’t what I was eating. With chronic pain issues, I did what I could, but it was like everything conspired against me and there was no way to get the weight gain off after I’d healed and recuperated from the medical trauma I’d gone through.

After the surgery, the weight loss was slow, but steady. I hit plateaus, had a lot of depression. There were times I wondered why I’d put myself through the things I did… I threw up so much that my already poor dental health got worse and I ended up having my top teeth removed. I developed pancreatitis, and spent my birthday in the emergency room having my gallbladder removed. I lost tons of hair, gained a ton of sagging skin.

But you know what? I hit my first goal. And then another. I realized I could walk a bit easier. I could sit cross-legged. Clothes started fitting better, seat belts could go around me again. I didn’t fear sitting down in a chair, or whether I’d fit in a booth at a restaurant. I got to that 284lbs and celebrated. Then I hit 242, what I weighed in high school, and family cheered with me. Next, I wanted to be under 200lbs. When I saw 199 on the scale, I cried.

At 192lbs, I’d officially lost half of my body weight. It took me 5 years to do it, but I made it. I went from a size 30/32 or 5XL to a size 14/16 or XL. I can shop in the juniors department now, if I really want to. Which, admittedly, I do sometimes… c’mon, they have STITCH stuff, guys! I love that lil blue guy. I had a panniculectomy, where they remove the overhanging skin of your stomach, so I stopped getting rashes and infections, which was another huge weight off my shoulders. (and frame, really.)

I have an entirely new lease on life. That’s the reasoning behind this whole website. I’m now capable of planning and doing the things that before I could only dream of. My body isn’t a prison anymore… and I’m so thankful. Yes, I’m still disabled and I still have many limits. I’m still in chronic pain and I still have excess skin everywhere that does cause issues. But I’m in such a better place than I was before, and I’m ready to see what the world has to offer… and what I can offer the world. I’m not quite sure the world is ready.

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